‘True’ Friendship
Enough of that Sissy Crap!
Are you tired of those sissy ‘friendship’ poems that always sound good, but
never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card -Just the stone cold
truth of our great friendship.
1. When you are sad — I will help you
get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bast*** who made you sad.
2. When you are blue — I will try
to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile — I will know you
are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared — I will rag
on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried — I will
tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be, until you quit
whining.
6. When you are confused — I will
use little words.
7. When you are sick — I will tell
you to stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don’t want
whatever you have.
8. When you fall — I will point and
laugh at your clumsy a**.
This is my oath….I pledge it to the end. ‘Why?’ you may ask. ‘Because you’re
my friend!’
Friendship is like peeing your pants: Everyone can see it, but only you can
feel the true warmth.